Cinderella 3?!
It's been painfully evident that Hollywood is out of fresh ideas for a while now. Bambi 2 has come and gone, and now there is a new commercial, promising more recycling. Yes, folks, Cinderella 3 is upon us.
Mercifully, I missed Cinderalla 2. IMDB confirms that it really did happen. Now, we have a third installment, in which somehow the evil stepmother gets a hold of the fairy godmother's (Anyone else think of the the "fairy godmother" from the adult version? Yeah, me too, you sick freaks)wand, and proceeds to undo happily ever after.
Come to think of it, I'd love to apply that premise in other films. A swish and a flick of the wand, and you would have movies done my way. Richard Gere spends only twenty bucks, and Julia Roberts spends the rest of Pretty Woman trying to hide newly developed cold sores.
Leo Decrapio has a moment of clarity, and decides he is taking the necklace and the float. He lives on as a rich, womanizing playboy while Rose goes down like a good date. Why am I humming Under the Sea as I picture this?
Brokeback Mountain is recast with Jennifer Alba and Angelina Jolie. New line? "I wish I could fist you.." Yeah, a little creepy, very dark...but it's my magic wand, so hush.
Every Hugh Grant movie...he takes a beating like the one that Sonny put on Carlo. Or, he takes Ned Beatty's role in the infamous Deliverance scene. Hmmm..
Ok, I'm in my dark place now, so this post is being shortened before I really freak anyone out more than I already have.
Mercifully, I missed Cinderalla 2. IMDB confirms that it really did happen. Now, we have a third installment, in which somehow the evil stepmother gets a hold of the fairy godmother's (Anyone else think of the the "fairy godmother" from the adult version? Yeah, me too, you sick freaks)wand, and proceeds to undo happily ever after.
Come to think of it, I'd love to apply that premise in other films. A swish and a flick of the wand, and you would have movies done my way. Richard Gere spends only twenty bucks, and Julia Roberts spends the rest of Pretty Woman trying to hide newly developed cold sores.
Leo Decrapio has a moment of clarity, and decides he is taking the necklace and the float. He lives on as a rich, womanizing playboy while Rose goes down like a good date. Why am I humming Under the Sea as I picture this?
Brokeback Mountain is recast with Jennifer Alba and Angelina Jolie. New line? "I wish I could fist you.." Yeah, a little creepy, very dark...but it's my magic wand, so hush.
Every Hugh Grant movie...he takes a beating like the one that Sonny put on Carlo. Or, he takes Ned Beatty's role in the infamous Deliverance scene. Hmmm..
Ok, I'm in my dark place now, so this post is being shortened before I really freak anyone out more than I already have.
posted by PKav at 9:20 PM
1 Comments:
While I concur that originality is lost, also consider it for other genres. Blade II and Blade Trinity aka Snipes runs from the IRS again were unnecessary. Someone should do hard time for Demolition Man as well. While it was unique - it was terrible. Rocky 1-12 and Rambo Transfusions 2 & 3 were a handout to Stallone who should be collecting social security by now. I'd rather our children watch Cinderella 3 than search YouBoob for a tween lighting his farts and subsequently his pants on fire.
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