Experts need surveys in lieu of common sense
We've all done this rant before. Most movies these days are rehashed predictable drek. Theaters have now started showing commericals during previews. Previews now run upwards of ten to fifteen minutes. Despite the decrease in product quality, prices have gone through the roof.
Then, there are the concession stands, where deciding to purchase Junior Mints means missing a car payment. Or of course, there is the popcorn issue. No longer is it air popped before your eyes, nope, it's already bagged up. For five bucks, who wants freshness? Then, as I brace for the inevitable, it happens. A well meaning but vapid purveyor of overpriced snacks asks if I would like butter on my popcorn.
Grrr...I would love some f'n butter on my popcorn. After glaring for a moment, I remind myself that the lad probably isn't bright enough to differentiate butter from the butter flavored oil in the big machine. Why not ask if I'd like a dry aged porterhouse when you really mean a Slim Jim? Intelligent discourse is a big enough challenge for many when we actually agree on the meanings of words.
A little part of my soul dies, and I mumble "yes, please". My wife looks at me with that look. Guys, you know the one. One part eye roll, one part warning, one part understanding. I'm pissed off beyond belief, and wer'e not even in the theater yet. That's where the real annoyances start.
People. I hate 'em. They suck. They have clearly never been out, and we've raised a couple generations of pissants who didn't have a father around to beat some civility into them. Almost every movie I've been to in the last year has had me looking back into another row with hatred in my eyes, wishing that the tweens would just ...give me a reason, ya know?
So, I'm angry, at a crappy movie with commercials, a loud, disinterested audience, I've spent upwards of $30 if I didn't go alone. Like many, I can do basic math. I can buy or rent the DVD, candy, a 55 gallon drum of popcorn, 5 liters of soda, and have people I want to see the movie with come over and watch it at home. For less than the theater would cost me. Hell, I can even replace the soda with beer and rewind if I have to use the head.
This post veered all over, but the point is...I'm not a rocket scientist, and I can see the problems with theaters and the resultant decline in revenues. Why the hell do people have to do market research to quantify common sense?
Then, there are the concession stands, where deciding to purchase Junior Mints means missing a car payment. Or of course, there is the popcorn issue. No longer is it air popped before your eyes, nope, it's already bagged up. For five bucks, who wants freshness? Then, as I brace for the inevitable, it happens. A well meaning but vapid purveyor of overpriced snacks asks if I would like butter on my popcorn.
Grrr...I would love some f'n butter on my popcorn. After glaring for a moment, I remind myself that the lad probably isn't bright enough to differentiate butter from the butter flavored oil in the big machine. Why not ask if I'd like a dry aged porterhouse when you really mean a Slim Jim? Intelligent discourse is a big enough challenge for many when we actually agree on the meanings of words.
A little part of my soul dies, and I mumble "yes, please". My wife looks at me with that look. Guys, you know the one. One part eye roll, one part warning, one part understanding. I'm pissed off beyond belief, and wer'e not even in the theater yet. That's where the real annoyances start.
People. I hate 'em. They suck. They have clearly never been out, and we've raised a couple generations of pissants who didn't have a father around to beat some civility into them. Almost every movie I've been to in the last year has had me looking back into another row with hatred in my eyes, wishing that the tweens would just ...give me a reason, ya know?
So, I'm angry, at a crappy movie with commercials, a loud, disinterested audience, I've spent upwards of $30 if I didn't go alone. Like many, I can do basic math. I can buy or rent the DVD, candy, a 55 gallon drum of popcorn, 5 liters of soda, and have people I want to see the movie with come over and watch it at home. For less than the theater would cost me. Hell, I can even replace the soda with beer and rewind if I have to use the head.
This post veered all over, but the point is...I'm not a rocket scientist, and I can see the problems with theaters and the resultant decline in revenues. Why the hell do people have to do market research to quantify common sense?
posted by PKav at 3:20 PM
2 Comments:
The good news, your favorite movie candy - Junior Mints is touted as a waist friendly movie snack. Beware the "buttered" popcorn with it's hydrogenated and trans fats. http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm/1/code_24423/cmi_2349556/
I can't tolerate fake Twizzlers. If I'm paying so much for a movie, I deserve real Twizzlers. And what's the deal with coffee bars in theaters now? They're more expensive than Charbucks and crappier than hospital breakfast tray coffee.
Netflix? Blockbuster at your door?? On Demand??? Who wants to leave the house to pay $10 a ticket (each) plus whatever food or beverage you want (that you didn't think to sneak in with the wife's purse)? And the really sad part? Whatever movie you went to go see will be released on DVD within 3 months...the movie industry isn't making enough at the box office any more, so they are having earlier release dates to make the money back that they had to borrow to make the movie in the first place...3 months, 90 days, it's not so long to wait. But once in a while, a truly great movie comes out, and it's well worth it to see on the big screen. Examples you ask? How about a few from different genres? Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan, the James Bond Movies, the Star Wars Series, and of course, we need a comedy...a Hugh Grant movie? just kidding..how about Tommy Boy?
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