Wow...just wow. There is no way he falls low enough for the Eagles to have a shot at this guy, but damn. Calvin Johnson is 6'5", 239lbs, and ran a 4.35 40 in a pair of borrowed shoes. The size and raw strength of He Who Will Not Be Named with, in the words of some analysts, the work ethic of Marvin Harrison.

Ah, well. McNabb had almost a full season to throw to a real #1 receiver, I guess I shouldn't complain.

Todd Pinkston, Na Brown, Torrance Small, James Thrash, a used up Freeman, Freddy Mitchell, Greg Lewis, Billy McMullen, and a 65-35 pass/run ratio. Has any QB been asked to do more with less?

Heh.

Since I can't parody the Gore carbon offset any better, just follow the link. If global warming is the new religion, selling carbon offsets is the new selling of indulgences.

Obamamania!

I've said it before, I like this guy. I disagree with him on most issues, but he at least seems to walk his talk. I'd rather passionately disagree with someone than deal with a milquetoast moderate who has no opinion until the majority goes in one direction or another.

I am thoroughly enjoying the Geffen-Obama-Asmodeus, er, Hillary row. God help Obama, he is in her way, and that seems to be a very scary place to be.

MCDST!

Sorry blogging has been light, work has been hectic, and I just passed Microsoft's Exam 70-272. I am now a MCDST, which, if nothing else, looks good right before an annual review. Whew.

For anyone who has never taken a Microsoft IT test, it is the intellectual equivalent of shaving your no-no parts with a cheese grater. There is what you would do in a given situation, the most expedient fix, and the Microsoft test answer. Oh, and of course, the answers are from memory, because there is no such thing as Google in the outside world. Sigh.

Enough whining. The test is over, I have a shiny new cert, and I am going to celebrate by pwning some noobs in WoW.

More disenfranchisement nonsense

Let immigrants vote? No problem. But it is a little dishonest to use the words immigrant and non citizen interchangeably. The right to vote was not given to all American citizens when the Constitution was written. Suffrage rights have been addressed over the years, each time granting the franchise to more and more American Citizens.

I'm not going to cut and paste the founding docs here, but here's the short version. Amendments 15, 19, 24, and 26 each expanded voting rights. Each one begins with the same verbiage. "The right of citizens of the United States to vote..."

It's bad enough when an argument is on shaky factual ground. Trying to get one's way by race-baiting is only going to create more ill will. If these activists want to really help, they should be lobbying to streamline the naturalization process, and helping people to become citizens. Then, their right to vote would be unquestionable.


Their judgement, well, that's something else again.

Irony

Heh. Ha. Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry, but ya have to admit, it's funny. Oh, I needed that.

Whoo....I'm going to go back to laughing uproariously in creepy Joker-like fashion...I just had to point that story out before anyone missed it. Good times. Heh.

Iran, Sollozo, and Barzini

I'm a Godfather geek. Even a chick flick, Sleepless in Seattle, nailed an observation about the greatest film ever made. "The Godfather is the I Ching. Anything you need to know about life is in The Godfather."

In my humble opinion, our current involvement in the Middle East can also be explained via the Corleones. Osama is Sollozo. The Tattaglia family is Syria, and Iran is Barzini. The U.S. is the most feared, loved, hated, admired, richest, most powerful, most despised family of all, the Corleones.

If you know the movie, you can do the math. Barzini took on the Don from the shadows, using an independent agent as a willing tool and the Tattaglias as unwitting fodder. Syria controls Hezbollah, who is training and funding many insurgents. Hezbollah also executed that little war with Israel over the summer. As a side note, you have to admire someone smart enough to fight from a third country. Hezbollah starts the mess, Lebanon gets bombed. Bloody brilliant, that.

Anyway, back on point. In the shadows, Barzini pulls the puppet strings, learning about and inflicting damage on his enemy while seeming uninvolved until a major negotiation with all players comes up. Until then, Sonny blindly lashes out, continuing a long, destructive, expensive war.

Everything seems to fit the model. But we might have to wait till '08 to find out who is going to play Michael. And before you even type it, I know some of you have W pegged for Fredo. Sorry, he's playing Santino here. Lousy communicator, and bullheaded.

I was just going to end this post, and another casting choice popped up. Hillary is Carlo. The only reason she is this close to the top is marriage. Here's hoping that Obama can be Clemenza in the back seat.

ABC News Story from 2000

I don't know what to say here, except that it is amazing how conventional wisdom changes. It really is true, if you tell the same lies often enough, everyone will swear to them.

Mmmmmmm, Burgers

We just got back from Five Guys, and even my burps taste delicious. For a very reasonable price, this joint has the best burgers around. Fast food doesn't compare, and mid level chains just don't get it.

I recently had the "Triple Prime" at Ruby Tuesday. The name and marketing campaign are the best parts. The burger itself is pedestrian at best. A horrifyingly haughty honorific heaping with hubris. Take that alliteration, ya overpriced bastards.

Five Guys has a model that any company would do well to emulate. Take a couple of small things, and do them better than anyone else. Here's hoping that this revolution becomes the mainstream.

Experts need surveys in lieu of common sense

We've all done this rant before. Most movies these days are rehashed predictable drek. Theaters have now started showing commericals during previews. Previews now run upwards of ten to fifteen minutes. Despite the decrease in product quality, prices have gone through the roof.

Then, there are the concession stands, where deciding to purchase Junior Mints means missing a car payment. Or of course, there is the popcorn issue. No longer is it air popped before your eyes, nope, it's already bagged up. For five bucks, who wants freshness? Then, as I brace for the inevitable, it happens. A well meaning but vapid purveyor of overpriced snacks asks if I would like butter on my popcorn.

Grrr...I would love some f'n butter on my popcorn. After glaring for a moment, I remind myself that the lad probably isn't bright enough to differentiate butter from the butter flavored oil in the big machine. Why not ask if I'd like a dry aged porterhouse when you really mean a Slim Jim? Intelligent discourse is a big enough challenge for many when we actually agree on the meanings of words.

A little part of my soul dies, and I mumble "yes, please". My wife looks at me with that look. Guys, you know the one. One part eye roll, one part warning, one part understanding. I'm pissed off beyond belief, and wer'e not even in the theater yet. That's where the real annoyances start.

People. I hate 'em. They suck. They have clearly never been out, and we've raised a couple generations of pissants who didn't have a father around to beat some civility into them. Almost every movie I've been to in the last year has had me looking back into another row with hatred in my eyes, wishing that the tweens would just ...give me a reason, ya know?

So, I'm angry, at a crappy movie with commercials, a loud, disinterested audience, I've spent upwards of $30 if I didn't go alone. Like many, I can do basic math. I can buy or rent the DVD, candy, a 55 gallon drum of popcorn, 5 liters of soda, and have people I want to see the movie with come over and watch it at home. For less than the theater would cost me. Hell, I can even replace the soda with beer and rewind if I have to use the head.

This post veered all over, but the point is...I'm not a rocket scientist, and I can see the problems with theaters and the resultant decline in revenues. Why the hell do people have to do market research to quantify common sense?

New Global Warming Reports

Well, it’s that time again, time for the IPCC report on climate change, and the freak-out has already begun. Anyone who is serious about discussing the issue of climate change should know enough to dismiss the report that was just released? Why, one might ask? The report that was just released is the Summary for Policymakers. This is the one that says that global warming is all man made, and goes light on the science and reason.

Around April, the full report will be out, which will include the full technical summary. These have always been much more informative than the crap that is leaked out for headlines. Unlike the rest of the report, the technical summaries tend to be dry and honest. If memory serves, the last one was 75 pages long, and its data didn’t seem to fit the conclusions for the Summary for Policy makers at all.

Imagine my surprise when this little tidbit was included in the Policymaker release. For anyone interested, the PDF can be found here. http://www.ipcc.ch/SPM2feb07.pdf
Note SPM2 on page 4.

This will probably never be headline news, but I found it interesting that this chart breaks down the 9 understood heavyweight factors. Is it just me, or does anyone else find it interesting that only 3 of 9 have a medium to high level of scientific understanding (LOSU on the graph)?

This can get very dry very quickly, but I would urge everyone to read the report that is out, and then to read the Tech Summary when it is available. I've never said that global warming isn't happening, but I do think that man overstates his importance and power on this planet.

No one seems to know why ice sheets in the southern hemisphere are unaffected, and we are trying to predict the behavior of a system that is billions of years old based on a century of data. That is like predicting what a stock will do over the next ten years based on watching its performance for one day. Computer models that fail to deliver accuracy over 5 days are being asked to project for 100 years.

Consensus is not empirical fact. I have a theory that women are insane, but I lack empirical proof. I do have tons of anecdotal evidence, and there are definable trends. But I wouldn't call it science. That is my inconvenient truth.

Cinderella 3?!

It's been painfully evident that Hollywood is out of fresh ideas for a while now. Bambi 2 has come and gone, and now there is a new commercial, promising more recycling. Yes, folks, Cinderella 3 is upon us.

Mercifully, I missed Cinderalla 2. IMDB confirms that it really did happen. Now, we have a third installment, in which somehow the evil stepmother gets a hold of the fairy godmother's (Anyone else think of the the "fairy godmother" from the adult version? Yeah, me too, you sick freaks)wand, and proceeds to undo happily ever after.

Come to think of it, I'd love to apply that premise in other films. A swish and a flick of the wand, and you would have movies done my way. Richard Gere spends only twenty bucks, and Julia Roberts spends the rest of Pretty Woman trying to hide newly developed cold sores.

Leo Decrapio has a moment of clarity, and decides he is taking the necklace and the float. He lives on as a rich, womanizing playboy while Rose goes down like a good date. Why am I humming Under the Sea as I picture this?

Brokeback Mountain is recast with Jennifer Alba and Angelina Jolie. New line? "I wish I could fist you.." Yeah, a little creepy, very dark...but it's my magic wand, so hush.

Every Hugh Grant movie...he takes a beating like the one that Sonny put on Carlo. Or, he takes Ned Beatty's role in the infamous Deliverance scene. Hmmm..

Ok, I'm in my dark place now, so this post is being shortened before I really freak anyone out more than I already have.